Marriage 105
When the topic of authority comes up in marriage many women cringe and many men puff out their chests. Truth be told though, both attitudes are the result of a lack of understanding of what it means to live under authority.
As individuals we live under God's authority. We know that He knows what is best for us and we trust Him to take care of us. It is our trust in God's goodness that enables us to live His promises. The same thing can be said when it comes to marriage.
For the wife does not have [exclusive] authority and control over her own body but the husband [has his rights]; likewise also the husband does not have [exclusive] authority and control over his body but the wife [has her rights].
1 Cor. 7:4 Amplified
First of all, let me say this verse in not about dominance or control and it is not limited to sexual relations either. Authority in a marriage is based on the same thing that the authority of God is based on - trust.
Godly authority in marriage is built on trust. Most people struggle with this as trust is not something we give easily. It is usually the result of going through tough times together and proving what we're made of.
I learned very early in my life that people were not trustworthy. They will hurt you and leave you hanging. These experiences caused me to make some inner vows that prevented me from opening up to people and being myself.
What do I mean by inner vows? An inner vow is a promise you make yourself as a result of a painful experience. For example, "I'm never going to let anyone hurt me like that again." Inner vows prevent you from growing beyond the level you were at when you got hurt.
My inner vow was that I would trust no one (which probably explains my two failed marriages). I was unable to open up and reveal my heart to anyone because the fear of being hurt was too great. Lack of trust in a marriage is not healthy.
In marriage, the authority that one spouse has over the other is built on a foundation of trust. The authority I have over my husband consists of me being responsible for his well being. My authority involves making sure my husband is cared for and that he has what he needs to reach his full potential.
Likewise I trust my husband to take care of me. I know that if there is something I need, I can go to him and he will help me. I no longer have to worry about my needs being met or being able to reach my dreams because my husband is deeply committed to taking care of those things. He has the authority to do so.
When you live under the authority of your spouse, you trust them to meet your needs and help you develop your gifts and talents. It means you let go of trying to control everything and you let your spouse have full responsibility for you. It does not require perfection but it does require open and honest communication.
Trust is the soil in which authority grows.
Heidirn
As individuals we live under God's authority. We know that He knows what is best for us and we trust Him to take care of us. It is our trust in God's goodness that enables us to live His promises. The same thing can be said when it comes to marriage.
For the wife does not have [exclusive] authority and control over her own body but the husband [has his rights]; likewise also the husband does not have [exclusive] authority and control over his body but the wife [has her rights].
1 Cor. 7:4 Amplified
First of all, let me say this verse in not about dominance or control and it is not limited to sexual relations either. Authority in a marriage is based on the same thing that the authority of God is based on - trust.
Godly authority in marriage is built on trust. Most people struggle with this as trust is not something we give easily. It is usually the result of going through tough times together and proving what we're made of.
I learned very early in my life that people were not trustworthy. They will hurt you and leave you hanging. These experiences caused me to make some inner vows that prevented me from opening up to people and being myself.
What do I mean by inner vows? An inner vow is a promise you make yourself as a result of a painful experience. For example, "I'm never going to let anyone hurt me like that again." Inner vows prevent you from growing beyond the level you were at when you got hurt.
My inner vow was that I would trust no one (which probably explains my two failed marriages). I was unable to open up and reveal my heart to anyone because the fear of being hurt was too great. Lack of trust in a marriage is not healthy.
In marriage, the authority that one spouse has over the other is built on a foundation of trust. The authority I have over my husband consists of me being responsible for his well being. My authority involves making sure my husband is cared for and that he has what he needs to reach his full potential.
Likewise I trust my husband to take care of me. I know that if there is something I need, I can go to him and he will help me. I no longer have to worry about my needs being met or being able to reach my dreams because my husband is deeply committed to taking care of those things. He has the authority to do so.
When you live under the authority of your spouse, you trust them to meet your needs and help you develop your gifts and talents. It means you let go of trying to control everything and you let your spouse have full responsibility for you. It does not require perfection but it does require open and honest communication.
Trust is the soil in which authority grows.
Heidirn
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