Insecurity
This last few weeks have been life transforming for me. I discovered the answer to some questions that have eluded me for the last 20 years. The questions centered around why I made some of the life choices I have and why do I respond like I do in certain situations. Sound confusing? Well let me start in the beginning.
As a child, I learned that people would only accept and approve of me if I behaved or performed in a certain way. In an effort to maintain good relations with people in my life, I learned to be what they wanted and in the process lost sight of who I was and what I was capable of doing.
This loss of self identity made me VERY insecure. Shame and guilt cloaked my life as I daily messed up and made mistakes. My insecurity caused me to make poor choices and hide my faults and failures in an effort to be liked by others. I could not figure out how other people could do something wrong and admit it so freely afterwards.
Pride fed the hold insecurity had over me as I struggled to maintain an appearance of being what I thought other people would like. Not only was this hard work, it was crippling. I did not know how to have a healthy relationship on any level and that usually resulted in me hurting the people I cared about the most, my husband and my family.
But God (I love saying that!) had a plan and a purpose for me and His plan included setting me free from insecurity. Over the last 20 years, Jesus has helped me everyday to let go of my pride and false beliefs and to accept myself as I am.
Are you wondering how?
Well, it began in a couple of 12 step programs that helped me early on to learn that not only does God personally care about me but He also has the power to help me overcome every struggle in my life. The one thing I could not accept in a 12 step program was that anything could be your "Higher Power" to help you overcome.
I have believed that God existed ever since the night I cried out to Him as a broken and lonely 16 year old on the verge of suicide. Because I knew He is real, I struggled with people using anything else for their Higher Power.
For the last 12 years, I have become very active in my local church and focused only on my relationship with Jesus. And, even though, I was not drinking or using, I was still struggling with relationships. When an opportunitiy came to help other through Celebrate Recovery, I grabbed it with both hands.
Celebrate Recovery uses the 12 steps of similar secular programs that are grouped under eight principles from the Beatitudes (Matt. 5:3-10) and acknowledges that there is only One Higher Power - Jesus Christ.
Celebrate Recovery is not just for drug and alcohol addictions. There are many groups with a variety of addictive behaviors from food addiction to sexual addictions. Any hurt, habit, or hang-up you are struggling with can be overcome through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the support of people in Celebrate Recovery.
I've enclosed the link for Celebrate Recovery to help you find a location near you ( http://www.celebraterecovery.com/ ).
You are not alone in your struggles. Seek help, find peace and live joyfully.
Heidirn
As a child, I learned that people would only accept and approve of me if I behaved or performed in a certain way. In an effort to maintain good relations with people in my life, I learned to be what they wanted and in the process lost sight of who I was and what I was capable of doing.
This loss of self identity made me VERY insecure. Shame and guilt cloaked my life as I daily messed up and made mistakes. My insecurity caused me to make poor choices and hide my faults and failures in an effort to be liked by others. I could not figure out how other people could do something wrong and admit it so freely afterwards.
Pride fed the hold insecurity had over me as I struggled to maintain an appearance of being what I thought other people would like. Not only was this hard work, it was crippling. I did not know how to have a healthy relationship on any level and that usually resulted in me hurting the people I cared about the most, my husband and my family.
But God (I love saying that!) had a plan and a purpose for me and His plan included setting me free from insecurity. Over the last 20 years, Jesus has helped me everyday to let go of my pride and false beliefs and to accept myself as I am.
Are you wondering how?
Well, it began in a couple of 12 step programs that helped me early on to learn that not only does God personally care about me but He also has the power to help me overcome every struggle in my life. The one thing I could not accept in a 12 step program was that anything could be your "Higher Power" to help you overcome.
I have believed that God existed ever since the night I cried out to Him as a broken and lonely 16 year old on the verge of suicide. Because I knew He is real, I struggled with people using anything else for their Higher Power.
For the last 12 years, I have become very active in my local church and focused only on my relationship with Jesus. And, even though, I was not drinking or using, I was still struggling with relationships. When an opportunitiy came to help other through Celebrate Recovery, I grabbed it with both hands.
Celebrate Recovery uses the 12 steps of similar secular programs that are grouped under eight principles from the Beatitudes (Matt. 5:3-10) and acknowledges that there is only One Higher Power - Jesus Christ.
Celebrate Recovery is not just for drug and alcohol addictions. There are many groups with a variety of addictive behaviors from food addiction to sexual addictions. Any hurt, habit, or hang-up you are struggling with can be overcome through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the support of people in Celebrate Recovery.
I've enclosed the link for Celebrate Recovery to help you find a location near you ( http://www.celebraterecovery.com/ ).
You are not alone in your struggles. Seek help, find peace and live joyfully.
Heidirn
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