Not About Me
My husband and I have been married for eleven wonderful years but I was married twice before him. I know first hand what will destroy a marriage and today we will look at one thing that you can do to build and keep your marriage strong and healthy.
In my first two marriages, I was more concerned with my wants and needs then I was of my spouse. I wanted them to do things my way and for me. I was very selfish and let me tell you, selfishness will destroy a marriage.
In Philippians 2:3 it says do not be selfish. Marriage is rough on selfish people because they are only concerned with themselves. What I failed to see in my previous marriages was that as a married couple, my husband and I were one in the eyes of God. Meaning, there was no separation or distinction between the two of us and by only thinking of myself, I was only taking care of half of the one. No one wonder the marriages did not grow.
Let each one of us make it a practice to please (make happy) his neighbor for his good and for his true welfare, to edify him [to strengthen him and build him up spiritually].
Romans 15:2 Amplified
I know the verse says neighbor not spouse, but if you cannot live it at home behind closed doors then you are not going to be able to live it away from home. Besides, it take practice to live unselfishly and who better to practice on than your spouse.
Instead of focusing on our own wants and needs we can choose to be more concerned with taking care of our spouse. Jesus promises that God will take care of us if we take care of others. So purposely look for ways you can do something for your spouse that they will like or enjoy. It may be a kind word, a compliment, or maybe you bring them home a gift like a book or movie you know they want. You could even give them a back rub, foot massage (and no Jamie, I am not touching your feet), or fix their favorite meal. That is what Jamie (my husband) did for me last night. It was awesome.
When you do things for your spouse just because it will make them happy two things happen. One, they can see and feel your love for them which makes them feel good and two, for some reason it will cause you to experience great joy because you made the person you love happy. It's a God thing and I don't know how else to describe it.
Here are some other verses on selfishness for you to meditate on.
Share each others burdens and in this way obey the law of Christ.
Gal. 6:2 NLT
Don't be concerned with your own good but for the good of others.
1 Cor. 10:24 NLT
Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others too.
Phil. 2:4 NLT
The most unselfish thing you can do for your spouse is pray for them. Do not misunderstand the power of God to help you through the tough times that is yours for the asking. I have a sheet of paper that I have written specific verses to use to pray over and for my husband based on what I know is important to him and what will be of benefit for him. I made it years ago and it got us through some tough times. God is more than willing to help you keep your marriage vibrant but you have to ask for His help and do what He says.
Look for ways that you can show your spouse that they matter to you. Refuse to let self centered thoughts run wild in your head. Make your spouse more important than yourself. Live unselfishly.
Put the needs of your spouse above your own and watch your marriage flourish.
Heidirn
In my first two marriages, I was more concerned with my wants and needs then I was of my spouse. I wanted them to do things my way and for me. I was very selfish and let me tell you, selfishness will destroy a marriage.
In Philippians 2:3 it says do not be selfish. Marriage is rough on selfish people because they are only concerned with themselves. What I failed to see in my previous marriages was that as a married couple, my husband and I were one in the eyes of God. Meaning, there was no separation or distinction between the two of us and by only thinking of myself, I was only taking care of half of the one. No one wonder the marriages did not grow.
Let each one of us make it a practice to please (make happy) his neighbor for his good and for his true welfare, to edify him [to strengthen him and build him up spiritually].
Romans 15:2 Amplified
I know the verse says neighbor not spouse, but if you cannot live it at home behind closed doors then you are not going to be able to live it away from home. Besides, it take practice to live unselfishly and who better to practice on than your spouse.
Instead of focusing on our own wants and needs we can choose to be more concerned with taking care of our spouse. Jesus promises that God will take care of us if we take care of others. So purposely look for ways you can do something for your spouse that they will like or enjoy. It may be a kind word, a compliment, or maybe you bring them home a gift like a book or movie you know they want. You could even give them a back rub, foot massage (and no Jamie, I am not touching your feet), or fix their favorite meal. That is what Jamie (my husband) did for me last night. It was awesome.
When you do things for your spouse just because it will make them happy two things happen. One, they can see and feel your love for them which makes them feel good and two, for some reason it will cause you to experience great joy because you made the person you love happy. It's a God thing and I don't know how else to describe it.
Here are some other verses on selfishness for you to meditate on.
Share each others burdens and in this way obey the law of Christ.
Gal. 6:2 NLT
Don't be concerned with your own good but for the good of others.
1 Cor. 10:24 NLT
Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others too.
Phil. 2:4 NLT
The most unselfish thing you can do for your spouse is pray for them. Do not misunderstand the power of God to help you through the tough times that is yours for the asking. I have a sheet of paper that I have written specific verses to use to pray over and for my husband based on what I know is important to him and what will be of benefit for him. I made it years ago and it got us through some tough times. God is more than willing to help you keep your marriage vibrant but you have to ask for His help and do what He says.
Look for ways that you can show your spouse that they matter to you. Refuse to let self centered thoughts run wild in your head. Make your spouse more important than yourself. Live unselfishly.
Put the needs of your spouse above your own and watch your marriage flourish.
Heidirn
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