Abide and Love Pt 3
OK, so I'm still thinking about "abide and love" because there are so many areas it impacts. Today as I am re-reading John 15:4-17 I see how we can be deceived in our own minds.
When we abide and love the Word of God lives in our hearts and we focus on it (vs. 7) but when things get tough, most most of us become very self focused. We think things like:
"What about me?"
"That's not fair."
"If he/she wouldn't have said that then I wouldn't have ......"
"If he/she would just do (fill in the blank) then I wouldn't have problems."
"He/she always does that. I don't get to behave that way."
Oh poor me! The same thing replays constantly in our minds as we try to justify our own bad behavior and then we become the judge.
"Why do I always have to apologize first?"
"I can't give love after he/she has said/done that."
"He/she doesn't deserve my forgiveness or love."
Push the stop button now and don't let this keep running through your mind. The hardest part of abide and love is shutting off these thoughts and turning back to God.
We know the Word and we know what the right thing to do is but we want to let our feelings be in control for awhile. Listening to this play over and over in our minds keeps everything stirred up.
It takes effort to get our thoughts off of this ride. The longer you let them play the harder it is to stop them. We are better off if we don't even let them get started to begin with.
It's a lot easier said than done, I know.
Sometimes I just have sit with God for a while and do nothing but praise Him. Most of the time, I share my thoughts and feelings with God and then I look at Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane and how He prayed, "Not My will but Yours be done." That is like ice cold water on my thoughts!
How can I carry on when Jesus said not one bad word against me as He gave His life for mine?
Sometimes, I make myself focus only on the good things about the person I am struggling with. If I really want to bust out of the box, I will pray God's promises over them.
I started doing this the last time my husband and I went through the transition process. Things were tough and it was hard to stay positive and keep off the insanity merry-go-round. So I wrote out some of God's promises as if they were only for my husband. For example:
God, You have not given (insert name) a spirit of fear, but of power, and love, and a sound mind.
2 Tim. 1:7
I have written out a list of them specifically for my husband and I keep it with my prayer cards (I'll tell you about those another time). The list is full of good promises too, ones that are positive and meaningful to us.
Everyday when I sit with God I read these promises out loud. I wish I could say that everything is instantly better but the truth is it takes time and determination. I have to keep saying the promises every time I get frustrated or angry.
It is a process not an instant healing. But we are promised that every Word of God spoken will accomplish what it was sent out for. It will not return void (Isa. 55:11).
The power of God's word completely changes my thoughts and feelings toward my husband and enables me to abide and love. Hearing the Word like this also changes the way I see my husband. This puts me in a win-win situation.
I have also used this approach when dealing with children, extended family, neighbors, co-workers and bosses. Really, it works for everyone. It can even be used to pray for our nation's leaders and all government officials.
Speaking God's Word out loud is how we refuse to let our thoughts stay focused on us and take them captive (2 Cor. 10:5). This is how we abide and love.
Abide and love is done on purpose especially when we don't feel like it.
Heidirn
When we abide and love the Word of God lives in our hearts and we focus on it (vs. 7) but when things get tough, most most of us become very self focused. We think things like:
"What about me?"
"That's not fair."
"If he/she wouldn't have said that then I wouldn't have ......"
"If he/she would just do (fill in the blank) then I wouldn't have problems."
"He/she always does that. I don't get to behave that way."
Oh poor me! The same thing replays constantly in our minds as we try to justify our own bad behavior and then we become the judge.
"Why do I always have to apologize first?"
"I can't give love after he/she has said/done that."
"He/she doesn't deserve my forgiveness or love."
Push the stop button now and don't let this keep running through your mind. The hardest part of abide and love is shutting off these thoughts and turning back to God.
We know the Word and we know what the right thing to do is but we want to let our feelings be in control for awhile. Listening to this play over and over in our minds keeps everything stirred up.
It takes effort to get our thoughts off of this ride. The longer you let them play the harder it is to stop them. We are better off if we don't even let them get started to begin with.
It's a lot easier said than done, I know.
Sometimes I just have sit with God for a while and do nothing but praise Him. Most of the time, I share my thoughts and feelings with God and then I look at Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane and how He prayed, "Not My will but Yours be done." That is like ice cold water on my thoughts!
How can I carry on when Jesus said not one bad word against me as He gave His life for mine?
Sometimes, I make myself focus only on the good things about the person I am struggling with. If I really want to bust out of the box, I will pray God's promises over them.
I started doing this the last time my husband and I went through the transition process. Things were tough and it was hard to stay positive and keep off the insanity merry-go-round. So I wrote out some of God's promises as if they were only for my husband. For example:
God, You have not given (insert name) a spirit of fear, but of power, and love, and a sound mind.
2 Tim. 1:7
I have written out a list of them specifically for my husband and I keep it with my prayer cards (I'll tell you about those another time). The list is full of good promises too, ones that are positive and meaningful to us.
Everyday when I sit with God I read these promises out loud. I wish I could say that everything is instantly better but the truth is it takes time and determination. I have to keep saying the promises every time I get frustrated or angry.
It is a process not an instant healing. But we are promised that every Word of God spoken will accomplish what it was sent out for. It will not return void (Isa. 55:11).
The power of God's word completely changes my thoughts and feelings toward my husband and enables me to abide and love. Hearing the Word like this also changes the way I see my husband. This puts me in a win-win situation.
I have also used this approach when dealing with children, extended family, neighbors, co-workers and bosses. Really, it works for everyone. It can even be used to pray for our nation's leaders and all government officials.
Speaking God's Word out loud is how we refuse to let our thoughts stay focused on us and take them captive (2 Cor. 10:5). This is how we abide and love.
Abide and love is done on purpose especially when we don't feel like it.
Heidirn
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