Marriage 102
For the wife does not have [exclusive] authority and control over her own body, but the husband has his rights; likewise also the husband does not have [exclusive] authority and control over his body, but the wife has her rights.
1 Cor. 7:4 Amplified
Yesterday we started looking at the principles of marriage found in this verse. I just want to remind you that marriage is two halves coming together and making a whole. Individualy we are a half and we've been uniquely created to come together and create a whole.
- Independence is as distructive as dominance in the marriage.
There is nothing wrong with being an independent person but when you are married, your decisions affect more than just you.
Within the initmacy and unity of marriage, we bring our individual dreams and goals to each other and create a plan for the whole that allows for each person to reach their goals. When things change along the way (and they will) or the unexpected happens, then the plan is renegotiated and decided upon together with love and compromise. I am not saying that each person cannot make decisions without the other one. But that all things are done with common consent and approval.
This one area that was particularly hard for me. I had been a single mom when I met my husband and I had more than one job. When we decided to get married one of the things we had to discuss was how we would manage my two jobs, his job and raising the two children still at home (I'll leave the parenting piece for another time). One job was under a non-negotiable contract and it did not make enough income for us. Since I could not quit it, we had to figure out how to make all the pieces work together.
In addition to careers, a married couple deals with a variety of issues that require input from both people. Negotiation is necessary for assigning household tasks like cleaning, upkeep, repairs, and bill paying. How we spend our free time and raise our children are other areas that requires discussion.
People who act independently in a marriage make assumptions about their spouse that can cause great harm. It is never acceptable for one spouse to inflict pain or suffering to the other. Learning to discuss sensitive issues and reach decisions together is like laying mortar between the bricks when you are building your home.
It takes practice to learn how to make decisions together but the rewards of doing so are worth it.
A marriage is made of two people who have decided to help each other overcome and succeed in life not one person who is making all the decisions for both.
Heidirn
1 Cor. 7:4 Amplified
Yesterday we started looking at the principles of marriage found in this verse. I just want to remind you that marriage is two halves coming together and making a whole. Individualy we are a half and we've been uniquely created to come together and create a whole.
- Independence is as distructive as dominance in the marriage.
There is nothing wrong with being an independent person but when you are married, your decisions affect more than just you.
Within the initmacy and unity of marriage, we bring our individual dreams and goals to each other and create a plan for the whole that allows for each person to reach their goals. When things change along the way (and they will) or the unexpected happens, then the plan is renegotiated and decided upon together with love and compromise. I am not saying that each person cannot make decisions without the other one. But that all things are done with common consent and approval.
This one area that was particularly hard for me. I had been a single mom when I met my husband and I had more than one job. When we decided to get married one of the things we had to discuss was how we would manage my two jobs, his job and raising the two children still at home (I'll leave the parenting piece for another time). One job was under a non-negotiable contract and it did not make enough income for us. Since I could not quit it, we had to figure out how to make all the pieces work together.
In addition to careers, a married couple deals with a variety of issues that require input from both people. Negotiation is necessary for assigning household tasks like cleaning, upkeep, repairs, and bill paying. How we spend our free time and raise our children are other areas that requires discussion.
People who act independently in a marriage make assumptions about their spouse that can cause great harm. It is never acceptable for one spouse to inflict pain or suffering to the other. Learning to discuss sensitive issues and reach decisions together is like laying mortar between the bricks when you are building your home.
It takes practice to learn how to make decisions together but the rewards of doing so are worth it.
A marriage is made of two people who have decided to help each other overcome and succeed in life not one person who is making all the decisions for both.
Heidirn
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